Your Presence Impacts Everything

My daughter wanted me to watch American Idol with her this season – from the beginning. So, of course, I had to pick everything apart in my curiosity about people and success. I immediately noticed stadiums of 20,000 or more hopefuls in each audition city, did the math, and wondered what the process of elimination was. I did some research and learned that regardless of what you see on television, the vast majority of those who try out for the show are excellent vocalists. In fact, people who are willing to make a fool out of themselves actually have better odds of getting through round one.

But that wasn’t the part that interested me. Less than 1% of the excellent singers who show up actually get to audition in front of the “star” judges. What I wondered is this: as producers watch rows and rows of these amazing voices, what is it that strikes them enough to move a person through to the next round?

Part of it may be having a good back story, like having broken both your arms falling out of a tree, or coming from an interesting part of the country or having an interesting family. But beyond that I believe it is presence. In this case perhaps it’s “celebrity presence”. You could call it charisma, but it’s even more distinct than that. It’s the ability to capture the imagination and emotions of an audience. Those who have it aren’t just singing in great voices, they are making a connection that “strikes” at an emotional level. It wakes people up and generates energy.

You don’t have to have celebrity presence to have presence. Everyone has some tone and level of presence, but we don’t think about it much, and we often attribute it to personality, assuming it can’t be changed, and therefore not bothering to develop it.

I would like to suggest that developing your presence could be the most important professional development work you ever do.

If you give presentations as a business leader or salesperson, you probably have a sense for when you are “on”. You can see from the faces in the audience that people are mesmerized. If you don’t develop your presence as a speaker, you give away your ability to influence your audience with the clear compelling messages that will get them moving in one direction.

Even in quieter interactions, such as one on one conversations with employees or small meetings, your presence will influence your audience far more than your words. See if you recognize these examples:

1. Have you ever been in the presence of someone who champions justice? In almost any situation they can find a story about someone taking unfair advantage of others. The person is appalled on behalf of the victim(s). The “presence” is that of self-righteous anger and the energy around it can be powerful. Some people are invigorated and inspired to jump on the wave of rebellion and take some action. To others it sounds like constant complaining and they feel drained by the negative energy. These are two ends of the same spectrum. If you want to be an advocate for change, working on your presence can make the difference between gathering a crowd of people ready to fight for your cause, and wondering why everyone is avoiding you.

2. I saw a speaker recently who was dripping with charisma, effervescence, and what I would call celebrity presence. Her stories were dramatic and mesmerizing, and her physical presence was beautiful to match. She compelled about half of her audience, but many of the intellectuals in the group were turned off by a message that to them seemed trite and empty. This is a great example of someone who has polished her speaking presence, and somewhere in the process it got overdone enough to lose some of its magic. The lesson here is that working on your presence is one thing, but taking it beyond authenticity may backlash you with a reverse effect.

Your presence doesn’t have to be big or loud to be compelling. If we take a look at quieter people, they tend to fall along a spectrum as well. At one end are those we barely notice, but at the other end are those who inspire us. They may sit quietly and listen most of the time, but when they say something it’s profound. When we read stories about powerful guides and teachers, they tend have quiet and peaceful but focused energy about them, and people come from miles around just to hear what they have to say.

Many of the most powerful business leaders are quiet intellectuals with a strong presence.

No matter who you are or what you do, working on your presence can help you be more successful. If you sing, it gives you a better chance of passing an audition; if you present, it gives you a better chance of having an impact on your audience; if you lead, it gives you a better chance of being willingly followed.

The two most important keys to presence are confidence and authenticity. Those are common words: easy to say, not anywhere near as easy to live. If you find yourself thinking about how you should say something so people will hear you or react the “right” way, you are already moving away from those keys. The tangible steps towards building presence involve becoming aware of and removing everything that holds you back from being present. For some this takes years of work, but the good news is, for every new level of awareness, you become that much more compelling in your interactions.

If you want to work on your presence, work with a coach who not only understands the concept of presence, but who IS present when you have your initial exploratory phone call. You will be able to tell this from your own emotional response during the conversation. Do you feel intrigued, interested, and inspired? If so you have found your coach. If you feel bored, not understood, or uninspired, keep making calls until the connection feels right. Trust your intuition, and good luck on your journey!