The Difference Between Needs and Values

In some of our recent sessions I have heard participants use the words “needs” and “values” interchangeably and it occurred to me that it might be helpful to distinguish the two:

1. NEEDS are what you are currently missing and cannot feel / be completely “OK” without.
2. VALUES are what you would naturally build your life around when all your needs are met.

It is very difficult to distinguish between needs and values when you have a lot of unmet needs. Your needs will pull at you much more strongly than your values, because they are urgent and required. When you do values work during a time of a lot of unmet needs, it’s highly likely that your needs will show up as values. Once the needs are met, you may feel like your values have changed because the same words aren’t showing up as much. Typically a value that changes is actually a need that has finally been met and is no longer necessary to bring into your life because you have more than enough.

I can’t tell you for sure whether or not values evolve over time, but MY BELIEF is that your deep values never change; they are simply “uncovered” as your needs get met.

This issue is really not a problem when it comes to personal growth, because getting your needs met is a priority anyway. If you are developing a list of your core values and it turns out later that four of the values disappear and in retrospect those turned out to be needs…perfect. That means your needs are getting met and you are making room in your life for your deeper values to come to the surface and be recognized. This is why it’s important to do needs and values work periodically; I would say at least once per year, and once per quarter is great for people on a path of accelerated personal growth.