Will you Really Change this Year?
If you could change anything, what would be different by the end of this year? It’s a question I often ask clients, but in January, it crosses almost everyone’s mind. The thing is, change doesn’t happen just by thinking about it, and that’s why most New Years Resolutions fail. Our brains and bodies like habits because they make life more efficient, but if your current habits are keeping you stuck, it will take more than a burst of commitment to change them. Here are five tips to help you make real and lasting change:
1. You need to know why it’s important to change, and your reason has to matter to YOU, at a deep emotional level.
Too many people resolve to quit smoking or go on a diet because they know they should for their health. The problem is they still feel ok, and the good feelings they get from smoking or eating are so much more positive, clear and strong than the concept in their mind of what it will feel like to be healthier. Those who succeed are either scared by a close call (powerfully emotional), or they are able to attach themselves to a clear, emotional, and positive vision of themselves in a healthier body. That clear vision and positive emotion is the thing that keeps them going as they develop new habits.
2. Get clear on what actions you are willing to take, for how long, and how you will decide whether it’s worth it to keep acting if you aren’t getting results.
The sad thing about most goals is that it takes longer to get results than what you would expect. When you don’t get results, it’s easy to get into a slump of not working as hard, which slows you down even more. One thing that helps is rewarding yourself for effort as opposed to results. When you know you are putting in your best effort, it’s hard to get down on yourself, and easier to keep going until you’ve gathered enough momentum to start seeing results.
3. Detach yourself emotionally from failure, get used to it, and learn from it.
While it’s powerful to be emotionally attached to the vision that drives you forward, it’s painful to be emotionally attached to the little failures along the way. You have to get over being embarrassed about looking like a dork, or comparing yourself to others who seem to be doing it better or faster. The successful people in this world have failed many more times than the failures. Who do you want to be?
4. Develop habits that support your success.
Habits and routines can form a strong foundation for success, helping you maintain consistent behaviors that build on themselves over time. Your brain likes habits, and if you do the same thing enough times in a row it will become automatic. Habits can work for you or against you, and the more habits you can develop to work for you, the easier it will be for you to create lasting and permanent change. This works with meals, exercise routines, sales calls, building your network, managing people, running meetings, and just about anything else.
5. Adopt a mindset that matches your change.
Your mind is powerful. It dictates what you notice in the world, what you decide it means, how you respond, and ultimately what shows up for you. It’s almost lucky that it takes awhile to make most changes on the outside, because if your mind doesn’t catch up, you can easily spiral right back to where you started. The way to prevent this is NOTICE that running commentary in your head and THINK about how that running commentary might be different if you succeed. Instead of “I need a smoke” every time things get stressful, it might be “I need a walk” or “a break” or “ten minutes to think with my door closed and a cup of tea”. Start playing with new ways to think that match the way you want to be thinking about the world once you have succeeded.
6. BONUS - Get a support system!
Studies show that people are three times as likely to make a change when they have a support system in place – usually a group of people who are in it together. You can put together a mastermind group, or join a support group, or even get a buddy to work with you, and the natural synergy and support will propel you forward. I have to make a sales pitch here – JOIN the Aspyrre Community and as long as you show up on the phone calls it’s almost inevitable that you will change. We are continuously learning and working with tools that help you move yourself to the next level, and hearing other people with similar challenges talk about their experiences is invaluable.
It all comes down to this. Do you really want things to change this year? If you do, you will need to do something different. Something that moves you out of your current habitual way of living. It can be as small as joining the community and showing up on calls or as big as moving to a brand new place physically and developing a whole new living routine. But do SOMETHING different – and lay the foundation for real and lasting change.
Showing posts with label goal-setting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goal-setting. Show all posts
Monday, January 10, 2011
Monday, June 01, 2009
Beyond Planning and Acting – the Emotional Game of Success
Sometimes success is easy. You set a goal, make a plan, take action, adjust as you go, and ultimately get to where you want to be. Then you choose a new goal and start all over again. Even in this crazy world when the more realistic scenario involves many goals, complicated webs of people, competition for resources, and constant change, it’s possible to set your mind to just about anything, and achieve it with a clear vision, good interpersonal skills, and consistent, focused action.
But sometimes the success formula doesn’t work. You may blame yourself for not managing your time well, or not having enough willpower, or not getting your priorities straight, but at some level it feels like you are banging your head against an impenetrable wall. I believe that this is because thinking and acting are just part of the success equation.
You see the emotional component of success all the time in sports. The underdog gets a burst of positive energy and performs beyond all expectations. Or an athlete falls into a “slump” and can’t do anything right. It’s alive in business as well. Sales teams purposely generate fun to keep the emotional energy as positive as possible. Leadership teams work on creating emotional environments (corporate cultures) that support what they want to achieve. Marketing teams use branding to create an emotional connection between products and customers. While the emotional game can seem vague and hard to define, we intuitively know it plays a big part in getting solid results.
When I coach clients, I often notice that the “emotional” game they are immersed in has more impact on their ultimate success than their goals, their plan, or any techniques or strategies they can learn. Unfortunately it’s hard to see, it’s not tangible or easily measurable, and controlling it is like herding cats. So what most people do is resign themselves to focusing on the things they can see and control – the mental game and the action game, and they ride the emotional waves the best they can.
But the emotional game is not as hard to manage as it looks – it just follows different rules and requires a different kind of awareness. Here are a few tips to get you started:
1. Notice when someone is pushing your buttons. We tend to assume that the other person “pushed” and that causes our reaction. But if you take a deeper look, you may notice a pattern of your own reactions that spans different people and situations. Understanding this pattern is the first step to learning what you need to succeed.
2. Notice what drains you and what energizes you. There is a pattern here too, and once you see it, you can begin to manage your environment, your activities, and your interactions in ways that preserve your emotional energy.
3. Notice the story you tell yourself about a situation when you are immersed in a negative emotion about something. If you look deeper than the actual situation, you will notice that you have a pattern of “explaining things” to yourself that may be habitual. Just realizing that you made up the explanation and there may be other more positive explanations is incredibly empowering.
4. Notice when you are feeling your best- confident, in your element, joyful, on top of the world. What exists that does not typically exist when you are stressed or down?
Some people think that the purpose of emotional awareness is to force a positive attitude all the time, or to always have positive energy. This line of thinking not only misses the point; it doesn’t work. A positive attitude and positive emotional energy are often helpful in the short term, but especially when they are forced, they can be even more draining than feeling authentically negative.
The purpose of increasing your awareness around your emotional game is to help you manage it so you can play your full game more effectively. In your physical game, you do better when you take good care of your body, and take time off to heal when you are injured or ill. In your mental game, you do better when you are periodically engaged in something that interests or challenges you, and when you regularly get a good night’s sleep. In your emotional game, as you spend more time doing what brings you joy and confidence, your level of personal power gets stronger and stronger. And when you find yourself stressed or angry or frustrated, you know what you need to get back on track.
Imagine what it would be like to feel energetic, confident, and content most of the time. Would you be more productive? Would you be on top of your mental game? If you have a goal and a plan, and you are not moving forward consistently, there is a good chance that the barrier you are facing is hiding in your emotional game. Discover it, and you have the key to breaking through to your next level.
Sometimes success is easy. You set a goal, make a plan, take action, adjust as you go, and ultimately get to where you want to be. Then you choose a new goal and start all over again. Even in this crazy world when the more realistic scenario involves many goals, complicated webs of people, competition for resources, and constant change, it’s possible to set your mind to just about anything, and achieve it with a clear vision, good interpersonal skills, and consistent, focused action.
But sometimes the success formula doesn’t work. You may blame yourself for not managing your time well, or not having enough willpower, or not getting your priorities straight, but at some level it feels like you are banging your head against an impenetrable wall. I believe that this is because thinking and acting are just part of the success equation.
You see the emotional component of success all the time in sports. The underdog gets a burst of positive energy and performs beyond all expectations. Or an athlete falls into a “slump” and can’t do anything right. It’s alive in business as well. Sales teams purposely generate fun to keep the emotional energy as positive as possible. Leadership teams work on creating emotional environments (corporate cultures) that support what they want to achieve. Marketing teams use branding to create an emotional connection between products and customers. While the emotional game can seem vague and hard to define, we intuitively know it plays a big part in getting solid results.
When I coach clients, I often notice that the “emotional” game they are immersed in has more impact on their ultimate success than their goals, their plan, or any techniques or strategies they can learn. Unfortunately it’s hard to see, it’s not tangible or easily measurable, and controlling it is like herding cats. So what most people do is resign themselves to focusing on the things they can see and control – the mental game and the action game, and they ride the emotional waves the best they can.
But the emotional game is not as hard to manage as it looks – it just follows different rules and requires a different kind of awareness. Here are a few tips to get you started:
1. Notice when someone is pushing your buttons. We tend to assume that the other person “pushed” and that causes our reaction. But if you take a deeper look, you may notice a pattern of your own reactions that spans different people and situations. Understanding this pattern is the first step to learning what you need to succeed.
2. Notice what drains you and what energizes you. There is a pattern here too, and once you see it, you can begin to manage your environment, your activities, and your interactions in ways that preserve your emotional energy.
3. Notice the story you tell yourself about a situation when you are immersed in a negative emotion about something. If you look deeper than the actual situation, you will notice that you have a pattern of “explaining things” to yourself that may be habitual. Just realizing that you made up the explanation and there may be other more positive explanations is incredibly empowering.
4. Notice when you are feeling your best- confident, in your element, joyful, on top of the world. What exists that does not typically exist when you are stressed or down?
Some people think that the purpose of emotional awareness is to force a positive attitude all the time, or to always have positive energy. This line of thinking not only misses the point; it doesn’t work. A positive attitude and positive emotional energy are often helpful in the short term, but especially when they are forced, they can be even more draining than feeling authentically negative.
The purpose of increasing your awareness around your emotional game is to help you manage it so you can play your full game more effectively. In your physical game, you do better when you take good care of your body, and take time off to heal when you are injured or ill. In your mental game, you do better when you are periodically engaged in something that interests or challenges you, and when you regularly get a good night’s sleep. In your emotional game, as you spend more time doing what brings you joy and confidence, your level of personal power gets stronger and stronger. And when you find yourself stressed or angry or frustrated, you know what you need to get back on track.
Imagine what it would be like to feel energetic, confident, and content most of the time. Would you be more productive? Would you be on top of your mental game? If you have a goal and a plan, and you are not moving forward consistently, there is a good chance that the barrier you are facing is hiding in your emotional game. Discover it, and you have the key to breaking through to your next level.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Energy and Success
There's a virus going around this season that produces mild cold symptoms along with severe energy drain and exhaustion. I just found this out from a client of mine who happens to be a nurse, and I can't tell you what a relief it is to have an explanation for how completely tired and unmotivated I've been this week. Sure, I have a cold, but it still feels a little wimpy to lay around in bed all day with minor systems. I decided since I haven't been sick in a long time, I must have lost the ability to "handle" even a minor cold.
Why am I sharing this story? Because it's a perfect example of how we discount the important role our energy level plays in our ability to be productive, motivated, and successful. Everything in and around you either gives you energy or drains your energy. If you have too many things draining your energy, you won't be anywhere near as motivated or productive as you can be, and you'll be more likely to procrastinate or otherwise "sabotage" your success.
The funny thing is, most action plans don't account for your energy level. When we write a plan of action, we assume we will be at a high level of energy during the entire execution cycle, and that's a set up for failure. A great example is an exercise plan. I might plan to walk on the treadmill 20 minutes a day and work may way up to running 45 minutes per day. After my first week I'm already up to 40 minutes per day and I'm feeling great! Somewhere mid-week two I don't feel like doing it and I figure a day off won't hurt. That runs into two days and when I get back on the treadmill on the third day it's REALLY hard to walk even 20 minutes. And so it goes. If I keep working at it, I might find that by week four I'm easily doing 40 minutes again. But even in later weeks what I'm capable of varies. It's not only affected by my mental motivation (my goal) and my physical capacity (how in shape I am). There's another factor that plays into what I achieve: my energy level.
Energy level isn't only affected by physical factors like colds, nutrition, or sleep. Your thoughts and environment also play a major role. Do you ever look at clutter in your office and notice a physical drain as a result? Do you avoid conversations with certain people because they take so much out of you? Has "just the thought" of a looming deadline ever made you feel like taking a nap? On the other side of the equation, do you ever notice how much more you can achieve when working with people who energize you?
If you pay close attention to where you get energy and what drains you, two important things happen. The first is that you can "stop the drain". Half the time we don't even recognize how many "holes" are in the dike. When you see them you find you can easily plug many of them up. The second thing that happens is that you can get better control of your motivation and productivity. If you realize you are low on energy, you can set lower expectations and take smaller steps towards your goals. When you are higher on energy, you can take advantage of that time and push forward.
We have an exercise in the coaching world we call "What are you tolerating?". The goal of the exercise is to come up with a very long list of everything you can think of that drains your energy. The things on the list can be anything, from a situation in your life, to extra weight, broken things in your house, a relationship, a pattern of thinking, anything that triggers a slight drain. Once you have everything on the list, you'll almost immediately see ways to lessen the drain. If you are up for the exercise, please do it, and feel free to share your "tolerations" list in the comments section, along with what you did after writing it, and how it impacted your energy. I'd love to hear!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
What’s Behind Fear of Success?
Sometimes success is maddeningly elusive. You have the desire and the capability of achieving something, but every time you get close, something gets in the way. At some point you may conclude that there’s something deeper going on. Perhaps you have “Fear of Success”?
Whether we name it “Fear of Success”, “Fear of Failure”, or “Self-Sabotage”, it is fairly common to find yourself is a situation where you are blocking your own progress towards your goals. That’s why setting goals and committing to an action plan is not enough when it comes to building the life you really want.
If you notice yourself avoiding, procrastinating, or having to use a lot of willpower to take the steps required to achieve your goals, you probably have an internal conflict holding you back. If you can get some insight into the internal conflict and resolve it, you will find that it takes a lot less effort to be successful.
I’ve observed two key patterns that produce internal conflict, blocking progress towards important goals:
1. You’ve decided that you want to achieve something, but you haven’t consciously considered all the implications of succeeding, and some of those implications aren’t worth the risk. These implications may be real or imaginary, but the confusing part is that they are not always obvious on the surface. A good example is that you really want a promotion, but this will change many valued relationships with your peers, and also may take you away from your family. You may not have thought through these implications, but at some level you are stalling to protect yourself.
2. You have an unrealistic idea of what success will mean, along with what I call an “emotional hook” to that meaning. It could be that your sense of self-worth is tied to whether you succeed or fail, or that succeeding will finally prove something to somebody. Often graduates feel this emotional pull when hunting for a job after investing a large sum of money into a higher degree. There is pressure to get a job that somehow justifies the expense of the degree, so the job search turns into a search for validation, and the resulting emotions exploit their ability to be effective.
Here’s the good news: fear of success is based on a paradigm, and you can shift your thinking and “unhook” from the emotions that hold you back. If you have something that you have wanted to achieve for a long time, and you wonder if you are sabotaging yourself, here are two key questions to ask yourself, along with a guide on how your thinking would have to shift to move you out of conflict:
1. Is there something about the process of achieving this goal that threatens something you need, such as time, peace, or a certain relationship? If so, you have to figure out a way to insure that you will get your needs met, or you will not move forward. This is easier said than done, but there are tools available to help you with the process.
2. Have you got your ego / sense of self worth tied up in this particular success? If so, you have to get yourself to a place mentally and emotionally where you can be ok with yourself whether or not you succeed. This is also easier said than done, but again, there are several coaching tools available to help you with this process.
What you’ll notice after asking yourself these kinds of questions is that one of two things will happen:
1. Everything will clear up for you, and you’ll be able to move forward easily.
2. You’ll notice yourself getting defensive, angry, frustrated, or confused
If it’s the latter, at least you know that you have some kind of inner conflict or resistance sabotaging your progress. To move forward, you have two choices:
1. You can muster up all the willpower you’ve got and force yourself past all your internal resistance to a successful result, or
2. You can acknowledge the conflict and choose the alternate path of putting your goal on hold, and committing to resolving your inner conflict.
In most cases, ten focused coaching sessions can get you clear on what’s blocking you, what it will take to move past it, and provide you with enough practice to significantly reduce your internal resistance and get you moving forward again.
If you’d like to talk about a goal you are struggling with, and how coaching might help you get past the obsbalces, feel free to call me at (949) 495-1021, or send an e-mail to nahid@aspyrre.com.
Copyright 2007 Nahid Casazza, Aspyrre
Sometimes success is maddeningly elusive. You have the desire and the capability of achieving something, but every time you get close, something gets in the way. At some point you may conclude that there’s something deeper going on. Perhaps you have “Fear of Success”?
Whether we name it “Fear of Success”, “Fear of Failure”, or “Self-Sabotage”, it is fairly common to find yourself is a situation where you are blocking your own progress towards your goals. That’s why setting goals and committing to an action plan is not enough when it comes to building the life you really want.
If you notice yourself avoiding, procrastinating, or having to use a lot of willpower to take the steps required to achieve your goals, you probably have an internal conflict holding you back. If you can get some insight into the internal conflict and resolve it, you will find that it takes a lot less effort to be successful.
I’ve observed two key patterns that produce internal conflict, blocking progress towards important goals:
1. You’ve decided that you want to achieve something, but you haven’t consciously considered all the implications of succeeding, and some of those implications aren’t worth the risk. These implications may be real or imaginary, but the confusing part is that they are not always obvious on the surface. A good example is that you really want a promotion, but this will change many valued relationships with your peers, and also may take you away from your family. You may not have thought through these implications, but at some level you are stalling to protect yourself.
2. You have an unrealistic idea of what success will mean, along with what I call an “emotional hook” to that meaning. It could be that your sense of self-worth is tied to whether you succeed or fail, or that succeeding will finally prove something to somebody. Often graduates feel this emotional pull when hunting for a job after investing a large sum of money into a higher degree. There is pressure to get a job that somehow justifies the expense of the degree, so the job search turns into a search for validation, and the resulting emotions exploit their ability to be effective.
Here’s the good news: fear of success is based on a paradigm, and you can shift your thinking and “unhook” from the emotions that hold you back. If you have something that you have wanted to achieve for a long time, and you wonder if you are sabotaging yourself, here are two key questions to ask yourself, along with a guide on how your thinking would have to shift to move you out of conflict:
1. Is there something about the process of achieving this goal that threatens something you need, such as time, peace, or a certain relationship? If so, you have to figure out a way to insure that you will get your needs met, or you will not move forward. This is easier said than done, but there are tools available to help you with the process.
2. Have you got your ego / sense of self worth tied up in this particular success? If so, you have to get yourself to a place mentally and emotionally where you can be ok with yourself whether or not you succeed. This is also easier said than done, but again, there are several coaching tools available to help you with this process.
What you’ll notice after asking yourself these kinds of questions is that one of two things will happen:
1. Everything will clear up for you, and you’ll be able to move forward easily.
2. You’ll notice yourself getting defensive, angry, frustrated, or confused
If it’s the latter, at least you know that you have some kind of inner conflict or resistance sabotaging your progress. To move forward, you have two choices:
1. You can muster up all the willpower you’ve got and force yourself past all your internal resistance to a successful result, or
2. You can acknowledge the conflict and choose the alternate path of putting your goal on hold, and committing to resolving your inner conflict.
In most cases, ten focused coaching sessions can get you clear on what’s blocking you, what it will take to move past it, and provide you with enough practice to significantly reduce your internal resistance and get you moving forward again.
If you’d like to talk about a goal you are struggling with, and how coaching might help you get past the obsbalces, feel free to call me at (949) 495-1021, or send an e-mail to nahid@aspyrre.com.
Copyright 2007 Nahid Casazza, Aspyrre
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
The Power of Personal Vision
Having a vision of what you want is one of the most powerful ways to make it happen. Once you have a clear picture in your head, several things begin to happen that naturally propel you toward your goal.
1. You Think About it a Lot: You think about it several times a day because you want it and it’s easy to think about. Your clear picture pops into your head as you are driving, waiting in line, or eating lunch. As you think, you get new ideas about how you could make your vision a reality.
2. You Perceive Possibilities: Have you ever noticed that when you think of a certain model of car you begin to see it all over the freeway? This is the process of selective perception – a natural filtering process in your brain that allows in the information that is most relevant to you and keeps out the rest. By thinking about your goal, you have made anything related to it relevant, and now you are noticing information that can help you make your vision come true.
3. You Verbalize it: Since your vision is clear and on your mind, it’s easier for you to communicate it to your friends and associates. Talking about it is a huge step toward making it happen. When you share your dream with others, their brains also get into the filtering process, and they send additional relevant information and interesting opportunities your way.
4. You Get Excited About it: Attaching real, positive emotion to your vision gives it the most power of all. Physicists have shown that your emotions emit magnetic vibrations which actually attract people, objects, and events. As you spend time feeling excited and positive about your vision, you will notice things change in your life, almost magically, that make it possible for you to move forward toward your goal.
5. You Take More Actions: The positive emotions related to your vision channel right into your motivation. Actions that previously seemed to be a waste of time suddenly become worth the effort! It’s more fun to get out there and it becomes a game. This motivation overrides most of your internal resistance, and enables you to overcome fears that may have been holding you back.
6. You Clarify and Deepen your Vision: As a result of all the new information you have and the actions you’ve taken, you now have an even clearer idea about “how” your vision could happen. Maybe before you were just thinking of a big house. Now the house is more defined, and you can picture what the rooms look like. Maybe you even have some ideas about the neighborhood.
7. Go Back to Step One: So now you think about your more detailed vision, and the cycle continues and gains momentum.
It’s important to note that we are talking about naturally inspired action here, not forced or fear-based action. To unleash the power of your personal vision, the only real effort you need to make is getting the picture in your head in the first place, and then being excited enough about it to keep it there. This is like starting the engine, which naturally fuels the rest of the cycle. Something to have fun with!
Copyright 2005 - 2007 Nahid Casazza and Aspyrre
Having a vision of what you want is one of the most powerful ways to make it happen. Once you have a clear picture in your head, several things begin to happen that naturally propel you toward your goal.
1. You Think About it a Lot: You think about it several times a day because you want it and it’s easy to think about. Your clear picture pops into your head as you are driving, waiting in line, or eating lunch. As you think, you get new ideas about how you could make your vision a reality.
2. You Perceive Possibilities: Have you ever noticed that when you think of a certain model of car you begin to see it all over the freeway? This is the process of selective perception – a natural filtering process in your brain that allows in the information that is most relevant to you and keeps out the rest. By thinking about your goal, you have made anything related to it relevant, and now you are noticing information that can help you make your vision come true.
3. You Verbalize it: Since your vision is clear and on your mind, it’s easier for you to communicate it to your friends and associates. Talking about it is a huge step toward making it happen. When you share your dream with others, their brains also get into the filtering process, and they send additional relevant information and interesting opportunities your way.
4. You Get Excited About it: Attaching real, positive emotion to your vision gives it the most power of all. Physicists have shown that your emotions emit magnetic vibrations which actually attract people, objects, and events. As you spend time feeling excited and positive about your vision, you will notice things change in your life, almost magically, that make it possible for you to move forward toward your goal.
5. You Take More Actions: The positive emotions related to your vision channel right into your motivation. Actions that previously seemed to be a waste of time suddenly become worth the effort! It’s more fun to get out there and it becomes a game. This motivation overrides most of your internal resistance, and enables you to overcome fears that may have been holding you back.
6. You Clarify and Deepen your Vision: As a result of all the new information you have and the actions you’ve taken, you now have an even clearer idea about “how” your vision could happen. Maybe before you were just thinking of a big house. Now the house is more defined, and you can picture what the rooms look like. Maybe you even have some ideas about the neighborhood.
7. Go Back to Step One: So now you think about your more detailed vision, and the cycle continues and gains momentum.
It’s important to note that we are talking about naturally inspired action here, not forced or fear-based action. To unleash the power of your personal vision, the only real effort you need to make is getting the picture in your head in the first place, and then being excited enough about it to keep it there. This is like starting the engine, which naturally fuels the rest of the cycle. Something to have fun with!
Copyright 2005 - 2007 Nahid Casazza and Aspyrre
Sunday, January 07, 2007
The Step by Step Accomplishment System – Easing into the New Year
If you have a big resolution for the New Year, you may be starting off with a blast of energy, will-power, and commitment. Or, you may find that coming back from the holidays is leaving you a little tired and disoriented. I’ve had the same conversation with many people this week – it goes something like this: “Wow – I’m much more tired, disoriented, and confused than I expected – it’s taking some time to ease into things” What a relief to know that so many people were experiencing the same thing! This reminded me of a philosophy on goal achievement that not only enables you to ease into things, but also gives you a better chance of long term success. It’s a “one step at a time” process where each step builds on each other. The best way to explain it is with an example.
Let’s say your goal is to get organized. One way to approach it would be to put out an inordinate amount of energy in getting your entire place fixed up, and then expecting yourself to keep it that way. Typically, you’ll stay organized for awhile, and then slip back into your old habits. This pattern also happens a lot with dieting. People start with an amazing amount of willpower, and once they have lost the desired amount of weight begin to slowly slip back into old eating habits, gaining it back again.
The “ease into it” process is a method that is especially effective when you are working on changing something in your life that is rooted in a multitude of small habits. What you do is focus on one habit at a time – one that doesn’t require as much energy as changing everything, but will still have a significant impact. For example, you may choose to get into a solid exercise routine before eliminating your favorite foods from your diet. Or, you may organize one room, or one part of a room at a time.
Here’s a quick exercise you can use to help you decide WHICH step to start with:
1. Write a list of all the habits or behaviors you can think of that you will need to change to reach your goal
If you have a big resolution for the New Year, you may be starting off with a blast of energy, will-power, and commitment. Or, you may find that coming back from the holidays is leaving you a little tired and disoriented. I’ve had the same conversation with many people this week – it goes something like this: “Wow – I’m much more tired, disoriented, and confused than I expected – it’s taking some time to ease into things” What a relief to know that so many people were experiencing the same thing! This reminded me of a philosophy on goal achievement that not only enables you to ease into things, but also gives you a better chance of long term success. It’s a “one step at a time” process where each step builds on each other. The best way to explain it is with an example.
Let’s say your goal is to get organized. One way to approach it would be to put out an inordinate amount of energy in getting your entire place fixed up, and then expecting yourself to keep it that way. Typically, you’ll stay organized for awhile, and then slip back into your old habits. This pattern also happens a lot with dieting. People start with an amazing amount of willpower, and once they have lost the desired amount of weight begin to slowly slip back into old eating habits, gaining it back again.
The “ease into it” process is a method that is especially effective when you are working on changing something in your life that is rooted in a multitude of small habits. What you do is focus on one habit at a time – one that doesn’t require as much energy as changing everything, but will still have a significant impact. For example, you may choose to get into a solid exercise routine before eliminating your favorite foods from your diet. Or, you may organize one room, or one part of a room at a time.
Here’s a quick exercise you can use to help you decide WHICH step to start with:
1. Write a list of all the habits or behaviors you can think of that you will need to change to reach your goal
2. Rate each habit or behavior on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of (1) "impact" - how strongly changing this particular habit will impact your ability to achieve your goal, and (2) "difficulty" - how much effort it will take you to change the habit.
3. Subtract the “difficulty” score from the “impact” score and use the results to rank the habits in the order that will give you the best chance of success.
Here’s an example for weight loss:
All the habits I would need to change to reach my desired weight:
Based on this table, my highest “ranking” is a 3. That means the habits scored as a 3 would be the first habits I would focus on. Then we have a two, three zeros, and a negative three. So this is the order I would focus on for my habits:
1. Exercise Daily
2. Plan meals in advance
3. Drink lots of water
4. Document and track progress
5. Eat fewer calories
6. Eat slowly
7. Eat smaller portions
8. Don’t eat past 8pm at night
9. Eliminate chocolate and other junk food from my diet
As I master each habit, I can move on to the next habit, and when I begin to falter I back track and re-establish the earlier habits. This builds a foundation for success and ingrains habits for the long term.
It doesn’t work for all goals, but it’s a great process for creating a long term behavior change program with a high chance of success. Try it out and tell me what you think!
Copyright © 2007 Aspyrre Nahid Casazza
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
