Everything you need exists in the world – the problem is finding it

Why do more than half of all employees stay in jobs that make them miserable? Do jobs exist that would make them feel happier, more fulfilled, more productive, and more valued? Probably. But job-hunting is such an emotionally painful experience, and even when you work hard at it, you may not get the results you are hoping for.

Why do so many business owners refrain from hiring, even when they desperately need help? Do people exist out there who want a job, have the skills, and would truly enjoy working for them? Absolutely. But the process of advertising, screening resumes, interviewing, and training, only to be frustrated with someone who isn’t working out, is often too time-consuming to be worth the effort.

Something like 90% of new businesses fail because they can’t find enough customers before they run out of cash. Usually many people exist who desperately want the product or service they offer, and would be willing to pay for it. But the time and energy it takes to find them is often way more than the new business owner has to give.

Why are there so many people in the world who feel lonely, isolated, and unloved? It’s certainly not due to a lack of people wanting more and better relationships...

And, at the risk of being extreme, the problem of starvation in this world right now has nothing to do with lack of food, and everything to do with connecting the overabundance of food to the people who really need it.

How do you find what you need?

As it turns out – that’s not even the big question. The BIG question is: what does it take to decide it’s worth trying to find what you need?

What is most scary to me about the “finding what you need” problem, is not the strategic problem of how to find; it’s the mental / emotional problem of believing that if you haven’t found it – it must not exist.

Even scarier – most people move into “it doesn’t exist” assumptions before even attempting a search. I think the logic and emotional progression goes something like this:

1. I need X, and not having it right now is painful
2. The idea of searching for X is overwhelming, and I couldn’t bear the thought of expending the energy and then not getting the results I want
3. So, X must not exist.

I’m not exactly sure how or why people make the leap from # 2 to # 3 – but they do, and I see it all the time. I think maybe we trick ourselves into believing something doesn’t exist simply because if we acknowledged that it did, then we feel obligated to do something about it.

So maybe, the first mental leap is this. Everything I need DOES exist, but sometimes I choose not to go after it. Sometimes it’s easier for me to stay where I am than to put forth the effort to change.

Being honest with yourself is amazingly powerful. Because then you can ask yourself, what makes it so hard for me to change things? And that’s where coaching comes in.

I’m launching a new program called Foundations for Change. This program is about providing you with the strategic and emotional support system you need to change. We resist change – even good changes. And we start and stop so many times it often doesn’t seem worth it to try again. But with the right foundations in place, and a support system to lean on when you get tired, frustrated, or off track, you can gather and maintain the momentum you need to get to the next level and stay there.

What are you assuming doesn’t exist for you in this world?

If you knew for sure that it exists, and that you have the ability to find it, what would that mean for you?

If you had a support system that provided you the knowledge, guidance, insight, encouragement, and accountability to go after what you want and stay on track until you get it, what difference would that make in your life right now?

Ask me about Foundations for Change – it DOES exist, and you can use it to change your life.

Copyright 2007 Nahid Casazza and Aspyrre

The Step by Step Accomplishment System – Easing into the New Year

If you have a big resolution for the New Year, you may be starting off with a blast of energy, will-power, and commitment. Or, you may find that coming back from the holidays is leaving you a little tired and disoriented. I’ve had the same conversation with many people this week – it goes something like this: “Wow – I’m much more tired, disoriented, and confused than I expected – it’s taking some time to ease into things” What a relief to know that so many people were experiencing the same thing! This reminded me of a philosophy on goal achievement that not only enables you to ease into things, but also gives you a better chance of long term success. It’s a “one step at a time” process where each step builds on each other. The best way to explain it is with an example.

Let’s say your goal is to get organized. One way to approach it would be to put out an inordinate amount of energy in getting your entire place fixed up, and then expecting yourself to keep it that way. Typically, you’ll stay organized for awhile, and then slip back into your old habits. This pattern also happens a lot with dieting. People start with an amazing amount of willpower, and once they have lost the desired amount of weight begin to slowly slip back into old eating habits, gaining it back again.

The “ease into it” process is a method that is especially effective when you are working on changing something in your life that is rooted in a multitude of small habits. What you do is focus on one habit at a time – one that doesn’t require as much energy as changing everything, but will still have a significant impact. For example, you may choose to get into a solid exercise routine before eliminating your favorite foods from your diet. Or, you may organize one room, or one part of a room at a time.

Here’s a quick exercise you can use to help you decide WHICH step to start with:

1. Write a list of all the habits or behaviors you can think of that you will need to change to reach your goal

2. Rate each habit or behavior on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of (1) "impact" - how strongly changing this particular habit will impact your ability to achieve your goal, and (2) "difficulty" - how much effort it will take you to change the habit.

3. Subtract the “difficulty” score from the “impact” score and use the results to rank the habits in the order that will give you the best chance of success.

Here’s an example for weight loss:

All the habits I would need to change to reach my desired weight:


Based on this table, my highest “ranking” is a 3. That means the habits scored as a 3 would be the first habits I would focus on. Then we have a two, three zeros, and a negative three. So this is the order I would focus on for my habits:

1. Exercise Daily
2. Plan meals in advance
3. Drink lots of water
4. Document and track progress
5. Eat fewer calories
6. Eat slowly
7. Eat smaller portions
8. Don’t eat past 8pm at night
9. Eliminate chocolate and other junk food from my diet

As I master each habit, I can move on to the next habit, and when I begin to falter I back track and re-establish the earlier habits. This builds a foundation for success and ingrains habits for the long term.

It doesn’t work for all goals, but it’s a great process for creating a long term behavior change program with a high chance of success. Try it out and tell me what you think!

Copyright © 2007 Aspyrre Nahid Casazza