Are “You” Lined up with Your Goals?
As a coach, I help you achieve your goals faster. But I’m less interested in your actual goals than how you can most easily achieve them. And, I’m less interested in how sensible your action steps are than how lined up you are mentally and emotionally with those steps. Simply put, if you aren’t lined up with your goals, you wont achieve them. So my most important mission when I talk with prospective clients about their goals is to ask the kind of questions that will reveal any hidden values conflicts, fears, or attachments connected to those goals.
When we work together, our most productive work will be addressing those conflicts and getting “you” lined up with what you want to achieve. Once you are lined up with your goals, then the action steps are easy to take, and over time, with consistent action, there’s almost no way you can fail. But when you aren’t lined up, no matter how clear you are on your actions, no matter how committed you feel when we get off the phone, by the next session, it’s predictable that you will either be frustrated with yourself for procrastinating, or you will cite many legitimate reasons why you could not take the actions required to achieve your goal. You may even be distracted and want to talk about other things, until after a few months you look back and wonder what you accomplished.
How do you know if you are “unaligned” with your goals? Here are just some of the signs:
1. It takes a whole lot of willpower and discipline for you to follow your plan.
2. You feel that you need accountability – someone to push you.
3. You really don’t enjoy doing the specific actions required to succeed.
4. You find yourself procrastinating and feel ashamed, but that doesn’t change things much.
5. Other, more important things keep getting in your way so you don’t have time to do what you need to do to succeed.
6. You keep changing your mind about your goals.
7. You set a goal and work towards it for awhile and then, without even realizing it, you seem to drift into not working on it, until one day you notice you’ve blown it off for weeks.
8. You feel like if you could only just get this one thing worked out and achieve this one goal, everything in your life would finally be ok (the right job, the right weight, the right relationship, etc.)
In contrast, how does it feel when you ARE lined up with your goals?
1. You may be tired or unmotivated, but you take the action steps anyway, and you feel good about it.
2. You might want an accountability partner, but you look forward to the time together instead of feeling pushed or forced.
3. Taking the steps required to achieve your goal feels energizing and exciting even if you feel scared, even if you fail.
4. Once you get some momentum going on your actions, they get easier, more enjoyable, and you feel more efficient.
5. You can see yourself having achieved your goal, and it feels possible, not like a “too good to be true” fantasy.
6. You know achieving this goal will be fulfilling, but you don’t expect it to make all your problems go away.
7. You might procrastinate or get distracted sometimes, but within a few days you are naturally thinking and focusing on your goal again, and wanting to take more steps.
8. As you work towards your goal, you continue to grow your confidence, even when things aren’t working out like you’d hoped.
If you look at the two lists above, you may notice that there is a distinct difference in the overall feeling and forward motion. When you aren’t lined up with your goals, your emotional state is more conflicted, your mental state is more confused, and although you may take some action, you never gain enough momentum to see results. When you are lined up with your goals you still feel all the same human emotions like fear and frustration, and you still face setbacks, both internally and externally, but through it all you naturally hold the vision, want to move forward, and find the energy you need to do what it takes. So eventually you gain momentum and get results.
If you are becoming painfully aware that you are in the “not lined up” category, don’t despair. You wouldn’t “want” whatever it is that you want if it wasn’t lined up with at least one real value or need. And that means the possibility exists for you to achieve at least most of what you want. However, if something isn’t lined up, you will have more long term success working to identify your internal conflicts and working them out than in attempting to force yourself through willpower to take action.
This doesn’t take as long as you might think. You don’t have to go into years of therapy and resolve everything in your past that affects you now. Just shining some light on your values, thinking about what makes you feel happy, fulfilled, and purposeful, and understanding what tends to get in the way for you can make enough of a difference to get you moving forward.
That’s why, at Aspyrre, December is the month of “self-discovery”. January is a big month for goal-setting, so in December we get back in touch with our core values, think about who we really are, what we most want out of life, and identify what gives us a sense of fulfillment and purpose. Then, as we plan for the year ahead we can make a conscious effort to line our goals up with our strongest values and give ourselves the best chance for success.
There is an exercise I have my clients do each year in December that helps shine the light on what is most important, and sets the stage for setting solid, values-based goals in January. The exercise is on my website, and is called “Your Year in Review”. Feel free to go through the questions yourself for this year, and when you are done, see if you have uncovered any gems that help you line yourself up with what you want to accomplish next year. I’d love to hear what you come up with!
P.S. As I write this at the end of 2009, I am working on a new website, so if for any reason the link doesn’t work – just go to my website and look in the articles section, or feel free to e-mail me and let me know so I can get the exercise to you.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
What to Tweet About?
People keep saying, “You should be on Twitter”. Yes, I know. I’m on there all right. But I don’t “tweet” much, because up until now, I haven’t really “gotten” what I should be saying. I mean, who in the world cares when I wash my hair or that I had a great talk with my daughter or whether I’m answering e-mail or talking to a client in any given work moment? And I know people definitely don’t want to read a bunch of workshop or coaching advertisements. So, what to write?
And then, today, the answer began to form around the edges of my mind. It happened when I was writing my weekly update to the Aspyrre Community members. I realized that the update created intimacy, a conversation for those who did not have time to show up for the live event that week. And for the first time, I realized I wanted to have that kind of conversation with more people. It occurred to me that the question “what do I tweet about?” is the exact same question as “what do I write about?” when I think about writing an e-mail or a blog.
Except with my blog and articles, I take time to write, and my readers take time to read.
But the world is changing, accelerating at an outrageous pace. Nobody has time to read or write anymore.
In my recent workshops on time management, participants grappled with the idea that they simply can NOT complete or even begin everything there is to do anymore. They have to choose. In my career transition workshops, job-seekers are learning how to write resumes that will not actually be read unless they make it through the first few rounds of selection. Everything has to be in bullets.
So the pieces of the puzzle begin to converge, as I realize what twitter gives me – a place to blog in bullets.
The whole world has access to the bullets, and yes, they are quite lost in a sea – like “pings” from a submarine. But there’s always someone else on line the same time I am and, the more followers I have, the more interested those “per chance” people are in what I have to say. After reading the bullets, some will honor me with more of their time, and read a paragraph or an article. And some of those people might want to delve in deeper and join the community, attend a workshop, hire me as their coach.
We live in a new world, where people can choose who, where, when, and what to engage with. Twitter is a selection tool that enables people to come together quickly around what they care about, and disengage just as quickly when they need space.
At least I think. But today, I’m going to step in and give it a try.
People keep saying, “You should be on Twitter”. Yes, I know. I’m on there all right. But I don’t “tweet” much, because up until now, I haven’t really “gotten” what I should be saying. I mean, who in the world cares when I wash my hair or that I had a great talk with my daughter or whether I’m answering e-mail or talking to a client in any given work moment? And I know people definitely don’t want to read a bunch of workshop or coaching advertisements. So, what to write?
And then, today, the answer began to form around the edges of my mind. It happened when I was writing my weekly update to the Aspyrre Community members. I realized that the update created intimacy, a conversation for those who did not have time to show up for the live event that week. And for the first time, I realized I wanted to have that kind of conversation with more people. It occurred to me that the question “what do I tweet about?” is the exact same question as “what do I write about?” when I think about writing an e-mail or a blog.
Except with my blog and articles, I take time to write, and my readers take time to read.
But the world is changing, accelerating at an outrageous pace. Nobody has time to read or write anymore.
In my recent workshops on time management, participants grappled with the idea that they simply can NOT complete or even begin everything there is to do anymore. They have to choose. In my career transition workshops, job-seekers are learning how to write resumes that will not actually be read unless they make it through the first few rounds of selection. Everything has to be in bullets.
So the pieces of the puzzle begin to converge, as I realize what twitter gives me – a place to blog in bullets.
The whole world has access to the bullets, and yes, they are quite lost in a sea – like “pings” from a submarine. But there’s always someone else on line the same time I am and, the more followers I have, the more interested those “per chance” people are in what I have to say. After reading the bullets, some will honor me with more of their time, and read a paragraph or an article. And some of those people might want to delve in deeper and join the community, attend a workshop, hire me as their coach.
We live in a new world, where people can choose who, where, when, and what to engage with. Twitter is a selection tool that enables people to come together quickly around what they care about, and disengage just as quickly when they need space.
At least I think. But today, I’m going to step in and give it a try.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Your “To-Do” List – Is it a Tool or a Weapon?
How do you feel when you look at your to do list?
How do you feel when you look at your to do list?
- Do you feel confident that everything is contained in one place, or do you wonder what’s missing?
- Do you feel clear about what to get started with, or do you feel overwhelmed at how long the list is?
- Do you feel a sense of accomplishment as you check items off throughout the day, or a sense of desperation as you watch the list grow throughout the day?
A to-do list is supposed to be an organizational tool, used to keep you productive, prioritized, and focused, and as a result it should greatly reduce your stress. But all too often I work with clients with to-do lists they want to hide from. The sense of overwhelm they experience as they see an unending list that can’t possibly be completed is enough to send them crawling back under the covers and take a sick day. If your to do list makes you feel bad and doesn’t help you work more productively, it may be a weapon you are using against yourself instead of the tool you originally created to serve you.
When facing your to-do list feels like facing an enemy, chances are it has become a trigger for negative self talk. If you listen closely to the words of your thoughts, you might notice things like, “I am so incompetent – I’ll never get all of this done”, or “what a loser”, or “this will take weeks and I’ll never get any time to relax and enjoy my life”, or “it’s useless, I can’t get on top of it – why bother doing any of it?” There are many variations in what you might be saying to yourself, but if the sight of your list triggers feelings of overwhelm, impatience, exhaustion, or other draining emotions, you can bet there is some form of negative thinking and self-talk behind it.
For many people, the energy drain is so severe that they avoid the list and procrastinate on tasks they might have otherwise enjoyed or easily completed. When that happens, your to do list has become a weapon you are inadvertently using against yourself, and it is no longer effectively serving its purpose as an organizational tool.
So, if this is happening to you, what do you do about it?
The first thing is to get back to the purpose of the to-do list. The to-do list serves you; you don’t serve it. Ask yourself why you have a list in the first place? Is it to keep you more organized, or prioritized? Is it to prevent you from forgetting things? Once you get clear on what you wanted the list for in the first place, you can make some adjustments to your list, or you can use an alternative tool that might work better. Here are a few ideas:
- To keep you prioritized and productive: write a “top 5” list each day, of the five most important things you want to get done. There may be a longer to do list that you use to contain ALL your projects, but the top 5 is much less overwhelming, and keeps you focused on the 20% that will give you 80% of your results.
- To move through your list faster: Most people know about the A,B,C method of prioritization. A items are the most critical items, B items are important, and C items are things you’d like to do when you can find the time. Add a Q designation for anything that takes 10 minutes or less and is relatively easy. Each day when you get 15 – 20 minutes of open time, such as before a meeting, knock one or two Q’s off your list. You might be surprised at how much shorter your list stays as a result.
- To get rid of the overwhelm: The bottom line is that technology has changed the nature of work over the past decade such that it is now literally impossible to get everything on our lists done. The people who survive in this new age of information overload have changed their mindsets and expectations accordingly. It’s no longer “getting it all done” that is important. It’s choosing what’s most important now, given the current circumstances and opportunities in this moment, which may be entirely different from what was relevant just a moment a go. Shifting your mindset to a new way of judging your competence can be powerful. Instead of “getting it all done”, if “getting what’s most important done” is what makes you competent, your to do list may lessen its power over you, and go back to its rightful place as your servant.
I’ll be talking about this mindset change in my Calming the Chaos workshop November 17th. To see a list of workshops I’m currently offering, you can always visit my website at
www.aspyrre.com.Friday, October 16, 2009
Getting a Better Return on your Energy
Sometimes we look at time management one dimensionally, and we forget to look at our energy, which is one of the most significant factors related to productivity. Some activities you do throughout your day are completely draining. You don't look forward to doing them, you often procrastinate, you don't enjoy yourself while you are doing them, and when you are done you are relieved and ready to relax. On the other hand, some activities naturally energize you. When you do them you forget about time. You tend to be more focused and engaged. You do a better job naturally. You feel good about yourself after you are done, and you leave the task energized, confident, and excited to move on to a new challenge.
How much more productive would you be if you could build your work day around activities that energized you? If you could eliminate or at least contain the ones that drained you? And if you could create systems and routines to get more out the ones in the middle?
My bet is that regardless of how much time each activity takes, you would end up getting more results from everything you do. If you'd like to experiment, here is an activity I recently walked Aspyrre Community participants through in our business systems forum. You can do this using a four column spreadsheet:
Column 1 - Write a brainstormed list of every activity you do regularly in your business, daily work, or job search.
Column 2 - Score each activity from 1 to 5 with 5 being the highest based on your reponse to this question: "if this activity is done consistently and well, how much impact will it have on my success?"
Column 3 - Score each activity based on whether it gives you energy or drains your energy. If it is neutral (like brushing your teeth, for example), score it a 0. If it gives you energy, score it from 1 to 5 with 5 being the MOST energizing. If it drains your energy you want to give it a negative number between "-1" and "-5" with "-5" being the activities that drain you the MOST.
Column 4 - Add column 2 and 3 (remember when you add a negative number to a positive number, it's just like subtraction. So 4 plus "-5" is like 4-5 and your answer would be -1). Your results should range from "-4" at the lowest to 10 at the highest.
How to Analyze your Results:
Activities scoring between 5 and 10 - capitalize on these activities. Build as much of your work as possible around them because you get the most leverage from them.
Activities scoring between 0 and 5 - systemize these activities, by having a step by step process or a routine for them. This enables you to do them more frequently with less energy drain, and get more leverage from them than you do now.
Activities scoring between (-4 and 0) - Eliminate / delegate / or at the very least CONTAIN these activities. They will always drain you, so if you can limit them to a short period of time and give yourself a reward afterwards, or otherwise manage them, you will be drained less by them.
When I did this exercise something quite obvious hit me between the eyes, and I actually revised my business strategy as a result. I'd love to hear what comes out of it for you!
Sometimes we look at time management one dimensionally, and we forget to look at our energy, which is one of the most significant factors related to productivity. Some activities you do throughout your day are completely draining. You don't look forward to doing them, you often procrastinate, you don't enjoy yourself while you are doing them, and when you are done you are relieved and ready to relax. On the other hand, some activities naturally energize you. When you do them you forget about time. You tend to be more focused and engaged. You do a better job naturally. You feel good about yourself after you are done, and you leave the task energized, confident, and excited to move on to a new challenge.
How much more productive would you be if you could build your work day around activities that energized you? If you could eliminate or at least contain the ones that drained you? And if you could create systems and routines to get more out the ones in the middle?
My bet is that regardless of how much time each activity takes, you would end up getting more results from everything you do. If you'd like to experiment, here is an activity I recently walked Aspyrre Community participants through in our business systems forum. You can do this using a four column spreadsheet:
Column 1 - Write a brainstormed list of every activity you do regularly in your business, daily work, or job search.
Column 2 - Score each activity from 1 to 5 with 5 being the highest based on your reponse to this question: "if this activity is done consistently and well, how much impact will it have on my success?"
Column 3 - Score each activity based on whether it gives you energy or drains your energy. If it is neutral (like brushing your teeth, for example), score it a 0. If it gives you energy, score it from 1 to 5 with 5 being the MOST energizing. If it drains your energy you want to give it a negative number between "-1" and "-5" with "-5" being the activities that drain you the MOST.
Column 4 - Add column 2 and 3 (remember when you add a negative number to a positive number, it's just like subtraction. So 4 plus "-5" is like 4-5 and your answer would be -1). Your results should range from "-4" at the lowest to 10 at the highest.
How to Analyze your Results:
Activities scoring between 5 and 10 - capitalize on these activities. Build as much of your work as possible around them because you get the most leverage from them.
Activities scoring between 0 and 5 - systemize these activities, by having a step by step process or a routine for them. This enables you to do them more frequently with less energy drain, and get more leverage from them than you do now.
Activities scoring between (-4 and 0) - Eliminate / delegate / or at the very least CONTAIN these activities. They will always drain you, so if you can limit them to a short period of time and give yourself a reward afterwards, or otherwise manage them, you will be drained less by them.
When I did this exercise something quite obvious hit me between the eyes, and I actually revised my business strategy as a result. I'd love to hear what comes out of it for you!
Monday, June 01, 2009
Beyond Planning and Acting – the Emotional Game of Success
Sometimes success is easy. You set a goal, make a plan, take action, adjust as you go, and ultimately get to where you want to be. Then you choose a new goal and start all over again. Even in this crazy world when the more realistic scenario involves many goals, complicated webs of people, competition for resources, and constant change, it’s possible to set your mind to just about anything, and achieve it with a clear vision, good interpersonal skills, and consistent, focused action.
But sometimes the success formula doesn’t work. You may blame yourself for not managing your time well, or not having enough willpower, or not getting your priorities straight, but at some level it feels like you are banging your head against an impenetrable wall. I believe that this is because thinking and acting are just part of the success equation.
You see the emotional component of success all the time in sports. The underdog gets a burst of positive energy and performs beyond all expectations. Or an athlete falls into a “slump” and can’t do anything right. It’s alive in business as well. Sales teams purposely generate fun to keep the emotional energy as positive as possible. Leadership teams work on creating emotional environments (corporate cultures) that support what they want to achieve. Marketing teams use branding to create an emotional connection between products and customers. While the emotional game can seem vague and hard to define, we intuitively know it plays a big part in getting solid results.
When I coach clients, I often notice that the “emotional” game they are immersed in has more impact on their ultimate success than their goals, their plan, or any techniques or strategies they can learn. Unfortunately it’s hard to see, it’s not tangible or easily measurable, and controlling it is like herding cats. So what most people do is resign themselves to focusing on the things they can see and control – the mental game and the action game, and they ride the emotional waves the best they can.
But the emotional game is not as hard to manage as it looks – it just follows different rules and requires a different kind of awareness. Here are a few tips to get you started:
1. Notice when someone is pushing your buttons. We tend to assume that the other person “pushed” and that causes our reaction. But if you take a deeper look, you may notice a pattern of your own reactions that spans different people and situations. Understanding this pattern is the first step to learning what you need to succeed.
2. Notice what drains you and what energizes you. There is a pattern here too, and once you see it, you can begin to manage your environment, your activities, and your interactions in ways that preserve your emotional energy.
3. Notice the story you tell yourself about a situation when you are immersed in a negative emotion about something. If you look deeper than the actual situation, you will notice that you have a pattern of “explaining things” to yourself that may be habitual. Just realizing that you made up the explanation and there may be other more positive explanations is incredibly empowering.
4. Notice when you are feeling your best- confident, in your element, joyful, on top of the world. What exists that does not typically exist when you are stressed or down?
Some people think that the purpose of emotional awareness is to force a positive attitude all the time, or to always have positive energy. This line of thinking not only misses the point; it doesn’t work. A positive attitude and positive emotional energy are often helpful in the short term, but especially when they are forced, they can be even more draining than feeling authentically negative.
The purpose of increasing your awareness around your emotional game is to help you manage it so you can play your full game more effectively. In your physical game, you do better when you take good care of your body, and take time off to heal when you are injured or ill. In your mental game, you do better when you are periodically engaged in something that interests or challenges you, and when you regularly get a good night’s sleep. In your emotional game, as you spend more time doing what brings you joy and confidence, your level of personal power gets stronger and stronger. And when you find yourself stressed or angry or frustrated, you know what you need to get back on track.
Imagine what it would be like to feel energetic, confident, and content most of the time. Would you be more productive? Would you be on top of your mental game? If you have a goal and a plan, and you are not moving forward consistently, there is a good chance that the barrier you are facing is hiding in your emotional game. Discover it, and you have the key to breaking through to your next level.
Sometimes success is easy. You set a goal, make a plan, take action, adjust as you go, and ultimately get to where you want to be. Then you choose a new goal and start all over again. Even in this crazy world when the more realistic scenario involves many goals, complicated webs of people, competition for resources, and constant change, it’s possible to set your mind to just about anything, and achieve it with a clear vision, good interpersonal skills, and consistent, focused action.
But sometimes the success formula doesn’t work. You may blame yourself for not managing your time well, or not having enough willpower, or not getting your priorities straight, but at some level it feels like you are banging your head against an impenetrable wall. I believe that this is because thinking and acting are just part of the success equation.
You see the emotional component of success all the time in sports. The underdog gets a burst of positive energy and performs beyond all expectations. Or an athlete falls into a “slump” and can’t do anything right. It’s alive in business as well. Sales teams purposely generate fun to keep the emotional energy as positive as possible. Leadership teams work on creating emotional environments (corporate cultures) that support what they want to achieve. Marketing teams use branding to create an emotional connection between products and customers. While the emotional game can seem vague and hard to define, we intuitively know it plays a big part in getting solid results.
When I coach clients, I often notice that the “emotional” game they are immersed in has more impact on their ultimate success than their goals, their plan, or any techniques or strategies they can learn. Unfortunately it’s hard to see, it’s not tangible or easily measurable, and controlling it is like herding cats. So what most people do is resign themselves to focusing on the things they can see and control – the mental game and the action game, and they ride the emotional waves the best they can.
But the emotional game is not as hard to manage as it looks – it just follows different rules and requires a different kind of awareness. Here are a few tips to get you started:
1. Notice when someone is pushing your buttons. We tend to assume that the other person “pushed” and that causes our reaction. But if you take a deeper look, you may notice a pattern of your own reactions that spans different people and situations. Understanding this pattern is the first step to learning what you need to succeed.
2. Notice what drains you and what energizes you. There is a pattern here too, and once you see it, you can begin to manage your environment, your activities, and your interactions in ways that preserve your emotional energy.
3. Notice the story you tell yourself about a situation when you are immersed in a negative emotion about something. If you look deeper than the actual situation, you will notice that you have a pattern of “explaining things” to yourself that may be habitual. Just realizing that you made up the explanation and there may be other more positive explanations is incredibly empowering.
4. Notice when you are feeling your best- confident, in your element, joyful, on top of the world. What exists that does not typically exist when you are stressed or down?
Some people think that the purpose of emotional awareness is to force a positive attitude all the time, or to always have positive energy. This line of thinking not only misses the point; it doesn’t work. A positive attitude and positive emotional energy are often helpful in the short term, but especially when they are forced, they can be even more draining than feeling authentically negative.
The purpose of increasing your awareness around your emotional game is to help you manage it so you can play your full game more effectively. In your physical game, you do better when you take good care of your body, and take time off to heal when you are injured or ill. In your mental game, you do better when you are periodically engaged in something that interests or challenges you, and when you regularly get a good night’s sleep. In your emotional game, as you spend more time doing what brings you joy and confidence, your level of personal power gets stronger and stronger. And when you find yourself stressed or angry or frustrated, you know what you need to get back on track.
Imagine what it would be like to feel energetic, confident, and content most of the time. Would you be more productive? Would you be on top of your mental game? If you have a goal and a plan, and you are not moving forward consistently, there is a good chance that the barrier you are facing is hiding in your emotional game. Discover it, and you have the key to breaking through to your next level.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Ask for What you Want – and Set Yourself Up for Success
Recently I received an e-mail from Courtney Phillips, asking if she could submit an article to this blog. I don’t know Courtney, but what I do know is that she took the initiative to ask me, and then she answered the questions I had, and she followed up with me exactly as I requested her to. To me, these are most critical components to success: (1) asking, and (2) politely and consistently following up. So here’s to Courtney – I wish her the best of luck in her endeavors, and here’s what she has to say about success:
Setting Yourself Up for Success
When it comes to dealing with clients, there are many things that can go right and just as many that can go wrong. Setting yourself up for success can be far easier than you think if you make preparations and work hard at getting the right things in place from the beginning. Take your business and rapport with your clients to the next level with a few simple modifications to the way you do business as usual.
Visualize the Outcome
Knowing where you are headed is one thing; seeing it happen is a completely different way of thinking. Take time to visualize the outcomes of events throughout your day including meetings, presentations, and even the daily commute. When you actually sit back and work your way through the day mentally, you are being proactive at the core level. Don’t confuse this with dreaming or wishful thinking. Work on using your mental faculties to anticipate your day regularly and you will soon see the benefit of doing so.
Get Time on Your Side
Nobody knows you better than you do. That said, if you are better on your feet in meeting during mid-morning, schedule your most important appointments at those times. If you know that post-lunch meetings aren’t going to work well for you, then change things up. You want to bring your “A game,” so set your self up for success by playing on your strengths. Use time to your advantage and see how your interactions with clients and colleagues transform.
Create a Relaxing Environment
In business, we often spend as much or more time at the office as we do at our own homes. However, rarely do we find offices that give off that “home away from home” feel. Consider that the more comfortable you are in your own office, the more likely you are to be productive and happy. Use subtle scents, colors, artwork, and even soft music to enhance the feel of your office. Keep things clean, organized, and clutter-free and you will soon notice the difference that these changes will make in your work day.
Treat Clients as Guests
Strategically speaking, it is always best to hold meetings on your own turf. Having a relaxing environment to meet in will speak volumes to your clients about the type of person you are. Treat each client as you would a guest in your home and be sincere and deliberate with your actions. Conduct business as usual and rest assured that your improvements will reap benefits soon enough.
This post was contributed by Courtney Phillips, who writes about how to obtain bachelors degree online. She welcomes your feedback at CourtneyPhillips80 at gmail.com . Courtney taught for a couple of years before becoming interested in freelancing, as writing has always been of interest to her. Courtney writes for a couple of websites concentrating on education and health and writes from past experiences, knowledge, and research.
Recently I received an e-mail from Courtney Phillips, asking if she could submit an article to this blog. I don’t know Courtney, but what I do know is that she took the initiative to ask me, and then she answered the questions I had, and she followed up with me exactly as I requested her to. To me, these are most critical components to success: (1) asking, and (2) politely and consistently following up. So here’s to Courtney – I wish her the best of luck in her endeavors, and here’s what she has to say about success:
Setting Yourself Up for Success
When it comes to dealing with clients, there are many things that can go right and just as many that can go wrong. Setting yourself up for success can be far easier than you think if you make preparations and work hard at getting the right things in place from the beginning. Take your business and rapport with your clients to the next level with a few simple modifications to the way you do business as usual.
Visualize the Outcome
Knowing where you are headed is one thing; seeing it happen is a completely different way of thinking. Take time to visualize the outcomes of events throughout your day including meetings, presentations, and even the daily commute. When you actually sit back and work your way through the day mentally, you are being proactive at the core level. Don’t confuse this with dreaming or wishful thinking. Work on using your mental faculties to anticipate your day regularly and you will soon see the benefit of doing so.
Get Time on Your Side
Nobody knows you better than you do. That said, if you are better on your feet in meeting during mid-morning, schedule your most important appointments at those times. If you know that post-lunch meetings aren’t going to work well for you, then change things up. You want to bring your “A game,” so set your self up for success by playing on your strengths. Use time to your advantage and see how your interactions with clients and colleagues transform.
Create a Relaxing Environment
In business, we often spend as much or more time at the office as we do at our own homes. However, rarely do we find offices that give off that “home away from home” feel. Consider that the more comfortable you are in your own office, the more likely you are to be productive and happy. Use subtle scents, colors, artwork, and even soft music to enhance the feel of your office. Keep things clean, organized, and clutter-free and you will soon notice the difference that these changes will make in your work day.
Treat Clients as Guests
Strategically speaking, it is always best to hold meetings on your own turf. Having a relaxing environment to meet in will speak volumes to your clients about the type of person you are. Treat each client as you would a guest in your home and be sincere and deliberate with your actions. Conduct business as usual and rest assured that your improvements will reap benefits soon enough.
This post was contributed by Courtney Phillips, who writes about how to obtain bachelors degree online. She welcomes your feedback at CourtneyPhillips80 at gmail.com . Courtney taught for a couple of years before becoming interested in freelancing, as writing has always been of interest to her. Courtney writes for a couple of websites concentrating on education and health and writes from past experiences, knowledge, and research.
Monday, April 13, 2009
When what Works stops Working - Adapting to Change
Everything was going fine, in fact it was easy, and I decided it was time to take it to the next level. I was confident and ready to move. But as soon as I decided, the level I was standing on collapsed. After eight years of coaching, all I had to do was show up at a couple of professional organizations to speak each quarter, stay in touch with my clients and business network, and clients showed up. But suddenly, they slowed down – big time.
So, I figured, well hey – with the economy as it is, maybe I need to just “up the pace” a bit. I made three times as many presentations, talked to what seemed like fifty potential clients, and I wasn’t getting hired. Not as quickly anyway. I lowered my rates; I raised my rates. It didn’t make a difference. People were “thinking about it” but not buying. Or they’d buy much less than in the past – just a few sessions or a few months or a lower level program. I qualified harder. I started following up more. Still people hesitated. I listened to what people needed, and came up with new and different programs. To some extent people responded. But it was still too early to tell. Bottom line, I was working three times as hard to bring in half as much business.
I began to get frustrated, questioning myself, resenting the extra work that was taking me away from family, yet not bringing them any financial benefits to make up for it all. I began to feel drained, wanting to take time off, yet not being able to enjoy the breaks, from worry that I was wasting time. One minute I’d be excited about a new direction I was taking, the next minute I’d feel like a complete idiot for things not being easy anymore, but there were no answers. I couldn’t go back, and I couldn’t see the way forward.
One morning I woke up with a pit of anxiety in my stomach, and suddenly I had a flash of recognition. I’m in stage one of decisive change! I wrote about this – something like six years ago. What are the symptoms?
1. Every action takes more energy than you think it should
2. It feels like you are on an emotional roller coaster
3. The people who supported you as your old self don’t really believe in your “new self”
4. Your progress feels like it’s being sabotaged at every turn, both from without and from within.
As soon as I remembered the article, I felt relief, and also like maybe I was moving into “stage two”. When you understand how transition works, and know what to expect, it suddenly seems like you are going in a straight line instead of spinning in circles and you can begin to make sense of things. Here is a link to the article on the stages of change if you want to read the whole thing: Stages of Decisive Change
What does it mean, spinning in change, whether you’ve found yourself here, or been thrust here? The bottom line is that it’s not comfortable and it’s not going to get comfortable for awhile. The worst thing about change is the unknown. You can’t know how things will turn out. You can’t know if your “solution” to the problem will work. You can’t rely on things like focus, because it might blind you to the different opportunities that exist now that things have changed. You can’t rely on things like flexibility, because it might prevent you from working long enough on an idea to see it bear fruit. You simply can’t approach the unknown knowing what will work. And that makes it nearly impossible to plan and allocate resources.
So what can you rely on?
1. Action. Even if you take action towards a goal that ultimately changes, 80% of your work is transferrable, meaning if ultimately you decide to go in a completely different direction than you are moving now you only lose 20% of it.
2. Rest. Most people spin their wheels to the point of exhaustion when they are under the stress of transition, and it does nothing but make them less effective. Each day make sure to stop, and rest, run, veg out, hang out – whatever rejuvenates you. Getting your needs met gives you the energy you need to be confident next round.
3. Detach from the Results. I’m not sure why we fail so much more when we are in transition, but that seems to be the way things happen. This is a time to get used to failing and not take it personally. The sooner as you get used to it, the easier it will be to act, and the more quickly you’ll get to the succeeding part.
4. Get Support. Trying to handle transition alone is like going off to war without an army. The hard thing about getting support is that we are such a self-sufficient society and it feels weak to let others know we need help. There are many ways to get support from joining networking or church groups, to enrolling in transition programs. It doesn’t matter how you get support, but if you pretend you don’t need it – chances are you are slowing yourself way down. (I’m currently running several transition support programs and also have a “transition with me” blog series designed to walk you through the transition process – step by step)
5. Do Something that is Hard for you. The number one thing that will get you through a transition is confidence. A few weeks ago, my son’s martial arts teacher told the kids, “the way to get confidence is to do something that is hard for you”. If you do ONE thing that is hard for you every day, how much more confident would you be? And, as a result what would change about your transition?
So this is what I have been doing – something hard for me each day. I can’t tell you how my story will turn out, because I haven’t made it all the way through this transition tunnel. But today I committed to sharing my transition with clients and readers in a blog series called “transition with me”. I figure we can connect and work through this transition together in an e-community just as easily as any other support system. I hope you check it out and enjoy your process more for going through it with me.
Everything was going fine, in fact it was easy, and I decided it was time to take it to the next level. I was confident and ready to move. But as soon as I decided, the level I was standing on collapsed. After eight years of coaching, all I had to do was show up at a couple of professional organizations to speak each quarter, stay in touch with my clients and business network, and clients showed up. But suddenly, they slowed down – big time.
So, I figured, well hey – with the economy as it is, maybe I need to just “up the pace” a bit. I made three times as many presentations, talked to what seemed like fifty potential clients, and I wasn’t getting hired. Not as quickly anyway. I lowered my rates; I raised my rates. It didn’t make a difference. People were “thinking about it” but not buying. Or they’d buy much less than in the past – just a few sessions or a few months or a lower level program. I qualified harder. I started following up more. Still people hesitated. I listened to what people needed, and came up with new and different programs. To some extent people responded. But it was still too early to tell. Bottom line, I was working three times as hard to bring in half as much business.
I began to get frustrated, questioning myself, resenting the extra work that was taking me away from family, yet not bringing them any financial benefits to make up for it all. I began to feel drained, wanting to take time off, yet not being able to enjoy the breaks, from worry that I was wasting time. One minute I’d be excited about a new direction I was taking, the next minute I’d feel like a complete idiot for things not being easy anymore, but there were no answers. I couldn’t go back, and I couldn’t see the way forward.
One morning I woke up with a pit of anxiety in my stomach, and suddenly I had a flash of recognition. I’m in stage one of decisive change! I wrote about this – something like six years ago. What are the symptoms?
1. Every action takes more energy than you think it should
2. It feels like you are on an emotional roller coaster
3. The people who supported you as your old self don’t really believe in your “new self”
4. Your progress feels like it’s being sabotaged at every turn, both from without and from within.
As soon as I remembered the article, I felt relief, and also like maybe I was moving into “stage two”. When you understand how transition works, and know what to expect, it suddenly seems like you are going in a straight line instead of spinning in circles and you can begin to make sense of things. Here is a link to the article on the stages of change if you want to read the whole thing: Stages of Decisive Change
What does it mean, spinning in change, whether you’ve found yourself here, or been thrust here? The bottom line is that it’s not comfortable and it’s not going to get comfortable for awhile. The worst thing about change is the unknown. You can’t know how things will turn out. You can’t know if your “solution” to the problem will work. You can’t rely on things like focus, because it might blind you to the different opportunities that exist now that things have changed. You can’t rely on things like flexibility, because it might prevent you from working long enough on an idea to see it bear fruit. You simply can’t approach the unknown knowing what will work. And that makes it nearly impossible to plan and allocate resources.
So what can you rely on?
1. Action. Even if you take action towards a goal that ultimately changes, 80% of your work is transferrable, meaning if ultimately you decide to go in a completely different direction than you are moving now you only lose 20% of it.
2. Rest. Most people spin their wheels to the point of exhaustion when they are under the stress of transition, and it does nothing but make them less effective. Each day make sure to stop, and rest, run, veg out, hang out – whatever rejuvenates you. Getting your needs met gives you the energy you need to be confident next round.
3. Detach from the Results. I’m not sure why we fail so much more when we are in transition, but that seems to be the way things happen. This is a time to get used to failing and not take it personally. The sooner as you get used to it, the easier it will be to act, and the more quickly you’ll get to the succeeding part.
4. Get Support. Trying to handle transition alone is like going off to war without an army. The hard thing about getting support is that we are such a self-sufficient society and it feels weak to let others know we need help. There are many ways to get support from joining networking or church groups, to enrolling in transition programs. It doesn’t matter how you get support, but if you pretend you don’t need it – chances are you are slowing yourself way down. (I’m currently running several transition support programs and also have a “transition with me” blog series designed to walk you through the transition process – step by step)
5. Do Something that is Hard for you. The number one thing that will get you through a transition is confidence. A few weeks ago, my son’s martial arts teacher told the kids, “the way to get confidence is to do something that is hard for you”. If you do ONE thing that is hard for you every day, how much more confident would you be? And, as a result what would change about your transition?
So this is what I have been doing – something hard for me each day. I can’t tell you how my story will turn out, because I haven’t made it all the way through this transition tunnel. But today I committed to sharing my transition with clients and readers in a blog series called “transition with me”. I figure we can connect and work through this transition together in an e-community just as easily as any other support system. I hope you check it out and enjoy your process more for going through it with me.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Why I’m Passionate About Coaching Groups
The majority of people who change jobs, start companies, quit smoking, go on a diet, or start any big initiative, tend to go it alone. I tend to do this as well, falling into the mental trap of dismissing support, almost as if it were an admission of failure. But one thing I’ve learned in the past few years is that leveraging the positive energy of others is like swimming with the current. The struggle disappears, and it feels like “riding the wave” of success.
Consider this:
1. According to Richard Bolles (http://www.jobsletter.org.nz/jbl14010.htm), sending out resumes randomly has about a 7% success rate, which you can increase to 69% by using a more proactive method. Being proactive with a group of other job hunters increases the success rate even more… to 84%.
2. Estimates for small business survival range from the standard “90% of all new businesses fail” to “3 out of 5 survive the first four years”. But a study from the University of Munich found that entrepreneurs who receive support from a network are more successful than those who are isolated. (Josef Brüderl and Peter Preisendörfer)
3. In his famous book, "Think And Grow Rich," Napolean Hill asserts that a key difference that made people successful was being involved in Mastermind Groups that bring people together with different experiences and ideas to collaborate, brainstorm, and provide support to help the participants achieve their goals. For business owners Masterminding can help you model other successful entrepreneurs, and provide you with your own board of directors.
4. Studies have shown that meeting regularly with a support group increases success in just about everything, from tripling your success rate if you want to quit smoking, to doubling your life expectancy when you have cancer.
The bottom line is, if you are serious about achieving any goal, personally or professionally, getting a support system is one of the most important things you can do to ensure your success. With that in mind, the most important question is how to find the right support system for you. Here are some important tips:
1. Although this may seem counterintuitive, it’s best to join a group of acquaintances who do not have an emotional investment in the decisions you make. Family members, good friends, and work associates will be influenced by the relationship they already have with you.
2. It’s good to have a diverse group with one to three key themes in common. For example, you may share a desire to succeed professionally, but your individual goals and areas of expertise vary widely. This provides you with an innovative environment where you can take advantage of completely different perspectives, and also enables you to build strong relationships based on shared values.
3. The most successful groups normally have a professional facilitator managing time and group dynamics, and this allows the group members to immerse themselves in the conversation without worrying about “playing host”. If you choose not to use a trained facilitator, it’s still important to set clear guidelines that create a safe and mutually respectful environment for all participants.
I’m passionate about groups, not only because they make sense, but because being a part of the right group can change your life. If you’ve ever been part of a project team that pulled something amazing off against all odds, or had that feeling of being a valuable part of something important that was much bigger than yourself, you might get a sense of what I’m talking about. It’s a feeling that can’t be described in writing, but it makes you feel powerful, confident, and capable of doing much more than you would have ever imagined on your own, and what’s more – those feelings are translated into real action and results.
If you have been wondering about getting involved with a group to accelerate your success, please feel free to send me a personal e-mail at nahid@aspyrre.com or give me a call at (949) 495-1021. I would love to talk with you more about your situation, and would be happy to share information on groups I am starting or provide you with additional guidelines if you’d like to start your own.
The majority of people who change jobs, start companies, quit smoking, go on a diet, or start any big initiative, tend to go it alone. I tend to do this as well, falling into the mental trap of dismissing support, almost as if it were an admission of failure. But one thing I’ve learned in the past few years is that leveraging the positive energy of others is like swimming with the current. The struggle disappears, and it feels like “riding the wave” of success.
Consider this:
1. According to Richard Bolles (http://www.jobsletter.org.nz/jbl14010.htm), sending out resumes randomly has about a 7% success rate, which you can increase to 69% by using a more proactive method. Being proactive with a group of other job hunters increases the success rate even more… to 84%.
2. Estimates for small business survival range from the standard “90% of all new businesses fail” to “3 out of 5 survive the first four years”. But a study from the University of Munich found that entrepreneurs who receive support from a network are more successful than those who are isolated. (Josef Brüderl and Peter Preisendörfer)
3. In his famous book, "Think And Grow Rich," Napolean Hill asserts that a key difference that made people successful was being involved in Mastermind Groups that bring people together with different experiences and ideas to collaborate, brainstorm, and provide support to help the participants achieve their goals. For business owners Masterminding can help you model other successful entrepreneurs, and provide you with your own board of directors.
4. Studies have shown that meeting regularly with a support group increases success in just about everything, from tripling your success rate if you want to quit smoking, to doubling your life expectancy when you have cancer.
The bottom line is, if you are serious about achieving any goal, personally or professionally, getting a support system is one of the most important things you can do to ensure your success. With that in mind, the most important question is how to find the right support system for you. Here are some important tips:
1. Although this may seem counterintuitive, it’s best to join a group of acquaintances who do not have an emotional investment in the decisions you make. Family members, good friends, and work associates will be influenced by the relationship they already have with you.
2. It’s good to have a diverse group with one to three key themes in common. For example, you may share a desire to succeed professionally, but your individual goals and areas of expertise vary widely. This provides you with an innovative environment where you can take advantage of completely different perspectives, and also enables you to build strong relationships based on shared values.
3. The most successful groups normally have a professional facilitator managing time and group dynamics, and this allows the group members to immerse themselves in the conversation without worrying about “playing host”. If you choose not to use a trained facilitator, it’s still important to set clear guidelines that create a safe and mutually respectful environment for all participants.
I’m passionate about groups, not only because they make sense, but because being a part of the right group can change your life. If you’ve ever been part of a project team that pulled something amazing off against all odds, or had that feeling of being a valuable part of something important that was much bigger than yourself, you might get a sense of what I’m talking about. It’s a feeling that can’t be described in writing, but it makes you feel powerful, confident, and capable of doing much more than you would have ever imagined on your own, and what’s more – those feelings are translated into real action and results.
If you have been wondering about getting involved with a group to accelerate your success, please feel free to send me a personal e-mail at nahid@aspyrre.com or give me a call at (949) 495-1021. I would love to talk with you more about your situation, and would be happy to share information on groups I am starting or provide you with additional guidelines if you’d like to start your own.
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